Chapter 32: We Didn't Buy a House
Modena and Bologna, Italy and Barcelona, Catalonia, Spain, May 5-11
Fair warning to have a snack before you start reading — this may be our most delicious post yet.
Sunday, May 5, 2024
We had to start our morning pretty early because we had two very important bookings, and we absolutely could not miss them! After a couple hour drive through the Italian countryside, we arrived at our first commitment of the day at the 4 Madonne Caseificio dell'Emilia, a parmesan cheese factory. As soon as we opened the doors to the foyer, we were hit by a wall of dairy aroma. The whole building smelled like butter! I looked for candles in the gift shop with the scent, but no dice. Our tour group was pretty small, made up of some families, some couples and a group of ladies who looked like they hit the lambrusco a little too hard last night. We first learned about the history of the caseificio, and its status as a member of the parmesan consortium. As you might know, parmesan is a protected designation of origin product, which means it can only be called parmesan if it’s made in the Parma region by a member of the consortium. Same system as champagne! And balsamic vinegar, for that matter, but we’ll get to that later.
Our tour followed the cheese-making process sequentially, so first we saw the room where the (very fresh) milk is curdled with rennet in beautiful copper vats. The curds are then broken up by hand and collected using a cheesecloth. They’re then whisked away into the next room using a track on the ceiling. The employees are all dressed completely in white, which adds to the Willy Wonka of it all. Our guide explained that it takes 15 years of apprenticeship to become a cheese master, and that no women work in the factory “because the work is too hard.” I tried to turn away from her before I rolled my eyes, but I’m not sure I made it.
We followed the cheese to the next stop, the shaping room, where the curds are placed into a squat cylindrical (wheel-shaped, I suppose) mold, with a heavy weight placed on top to press out extra whey. They are flipped, frequently, by hand, in order to get the shape perfect. This is also where they get the seal of the consortium and the name of the cheese pressed into the sides of the wheel.
The young cheese is then taken into the aging room, an expansive warehouse that smells better than any warehouse ever has. The temperature and humidity in this room are carefully monitored, and the cheese is left to age for at least 12 months, and up to 100 months. The cheese in this room is also flipped to ensure even drying, but this time by a robot. The cheese is tested for readiness by sound alone. A cheese master taps on each wheel with a little metal hammer, and the cheese says with a cheesy little voice “I’m ready!” or “not quite yet!” We marveled at the scale of the room and learned about the tragic earthquake of 2012 and the massive losses sustained at the caseificio and others in the area.
The last stop was, of course, a tasting. We tasted a range of ages of parmesan, some local balsamic vinegar, a couple of soft cheeses, and washed it all down with lambrusco, a sparkling red wine. It was divine, but also just whet our appetites. We were hungry! I did a quick lap of the gift shop, hoping to find the same hat that the workers were all wearing (no luck), then we headed out for lunch.
We decided that we didn’t want to brave any city driving, so we found a small town nearby. It being a Sunday, everything was either closed or packed, so we put our name down at a nice-looking restaurant and had a walk to kill some time. After a short wait, we had one of the best lunches of our LIVES. One of the local specialties is a kind of fried dough served with cheese and cold cuts. We also had tortellini (this region is the home of tortellini) and lambrusco (it’s also the home of lambrusco). Everything was so fresh and so rich, we could not have been more satisfied.
A big lunch and an early morning meant that a nap was completely essential, so we snoozed in our rental car for a little while. We had a short drive over to our next tour, at Acetaia Leonardi. We chose this balsamic vinegar tour based on a list provided by the Modena Consortium of Balsamic Vinegar, so we felt pretty good about it. The tour led us all throughout the vinegar-making process, which is surprisingly alchemical. It honestly reminded me a lot of writing code. “This works. We don’t really know why, but as soon as we change something, it doesn’t work anymore. So don’t change anything!” There’s some perfect combination of local yeasts, wooden barrels of a certain age and patience that makes Modena balsamic vinegar worthy of its protected designation of origin. Our (extraordinarily Italian) guide told us that people have attempted to produce balsamic vinegar in places other than Modena, and it always fails. The yeasts, or the air, or the climate, or something always results in a bad product. He told us that the local tradition is that when a child is born in Modena, they’re given a battery, which is the collection of wooden barrels that the vinegar is aged in. As the child ages, so does the vinegar.
We got to taste a wide range of vinegars of different ages and aged in barrels of different wood composition. The most special (although not my personal favorite!) was from the oldest known balsamic vinegar in the world. It’s more than 150 years old, and not for sale. It’s only for use by the Leonardi family. How did I get to taste it? The barrel is so old that it leaks, and we were allowed to scrape some off the floor. It didn’t even really taste like vinegar, more like a syrup. It was all sugar and no tang.
After the tour, we were sat outside for the official tasting, which included vinegars, cheeses and lambrusco. We also got to see a baby, but not just any baby. This baby is the fifth generation Leonardi, and he will someday inherit this dynastic acetaia.
We said goodbye to our rental car and headed to our accommodation in Bologna. It was kind of a weird space, but we loved watching the golden sunset over the hills and buildings.
After our big day out, we were just noodling around on our phones in bed, pursuing Zillow, as you do, when I saw something huge: THE HOUSE NEXT DOOR TO MY PARENTS’ WAS FOR SALE.
I immediately texted them and filled in the contact for the auto-assigned agent on Zillow, not sure what might come of it, but very excited about the possibility! I knew the property well, and although I didn’t really know what the state of the house might be, there was nothing in the listing that immediately scared us off.
After all the excitement and the big day of eating, I had no appetite at all, but Al did. He ran out for a slice of pizza while I continued to text Rei and my parents like a madwoman.
Monday, May 6, 2024
Because of the time difference, we knew not to expect to hear anything right away about the house. It was kind of a relief, since it left us free to see Bologna without too much distraction. We started at a really cute coffee shop that felt like Barbieland, not in decor, but in vibe. Every employee was a cute gal and the playlist was unbeatable. We had a little breakfast, then continued our wander further into the historic center of town. We popped into a couple of shops for some necessities and some definitely-not necessities. I was looking for a new pair of shorts, but ended up spending an hour getting styled by some impossibly fashionable stylist type. It was a fun experience, but she definitely put on the pressure to buy the whole outfit, which was obviously not possible for me, a person who has a single suitcase to live out of for months to go. I sheepishly left with just the shorts. I returned them later on, even more sheepishly, because I found a pair at a thrift store for about a hundred euro less.
The rain really started coming down now, so we tucked into a restaurant in the quadrilatero for lunch. We had a delicious meat and cheese plate, paired with some local wines. Sated, we continued wandering around Bologna with no real destination, but with a desire to see the town. Bologna wasn’t a place that we did much touristing, the way we had in Rome and Naples. It was our favorite kind of town – one with excellent food and lots of lovely places to just hang out and enjoy ourselves.
In the afternoon, we started receiving messages from Rei, my family, the real estate agent from Zillow, and Greg, a friend of the family who’s a realtor. We headed home to communicate with everybody and research the property. Rei agreed to visit the house later on in the day, and we tried to figure out what we would be able to offer. Because it’s not actually a home, but a prefab, there would be no way to get financing, so the sellers were only considering all-cash offers. That really didn’t make a difference to us. Since we’re both unemployed, it’s not like we would get a mortgage anyway!
In the excitement of it all, we realized we sort of missed dinner. Luckily, there was a place not far from our apartment that served dinner until late. It was great, but we were pretty emotionally exhausted from the house excitement.
I have the best friend in the world, and the next few hours perfectly illustrate that. Rei finished her work day, where she’s in the last weeks of her school year teaching pre-kinder. She drove all the way across the county and met with a real estate agent. To coordinate the meeting time, she called and texted this agent, a perfect stranger to her. She walked the property and toured the house, talking with the real estate agent about the listing. She was unequivocal in her assessment – do it!! After checking out the property, she walked over to my parents’ house. Al and I were attending a wedding in New Jersey at the end of the month, so we needed our Indian formal clothing. She stayed on the phone with me, poking around our apartment and finding everything we needed. She then took all these clothes home with her and mailed them to San Diego. What a girl!
Tuesday, May 7, 2024
In the morning, we took advantage of the overlapping waking hours with a quick call to my cousin Eve, another real estate agent close to us. She gave us some excellent advice!
We passed the whole afternoon at a very cool amaroteca, alternating between cappuccinos and local amaros. While there, we met a British expat who lives in Bologna and has the perfect Brit-living-in-Italy job: he writes mystery novels.
On the way back to our apartment, we stopped into a couple of thrift shops. I didn’t realize it at the time, but it would be the first of many visits to Humana, a mid-range second hand store with locations all around Europe. We found a great record shop called Disco d’Oro and lamented for the millionth time that we really don’t have the ability to take anything home.
For dinner, we ate at a very cool restaurant that Al had scoped out earlier. The decor and art was wonderful, as was the food. We got there a little too late to do the pre-fixe menu, but the ala cart menu was excellent.
Our friend Greg visited the house in Aromas, sent us some wonderful videos and echoed Rei in his assessment – do it! That night, we decided that we were much better off moving forward with putting in an offer with Greg than with the agent we had been assigned by Zillow. He’s a long time family friend, somebody we deeply trust and has lots of experience with country properties and all their quirks.
Wednesday, May 8, 2024
We had two big focuses for the day: get ourselves from Bologna to Barcelona, and move forward with putting in an offer. We thanked the Zillow agent for their time, but said that we wanted to proceed with Greg as our agent instead. In addition to being a perfect stranger, they said some things that didn’t vibe with us. They posted on Instagram about the property, calling it creepy and implying that we were crazy for wanting to buy it. They also advised us to make an offer way below asking, which made us feel like they didn’t understand the value of the property. We were pretty hurt that they were making fun of the thing that we wanted to spend our life’s savings on and didn’t think that they were the right person to represent us. They didn’t seem happy about our decision, but didn’t press the matter.
We made our way to the Bologna airport, then to the Barcelona airport, then to our hostel without too much trouble. We signed the paperwork to put in an offer on the house using airport wifi in Barcelona! On seeing our bunks, we had the same reaction we always do when arriving at hostel dorm rooms that we’ve booked for ourselves: oh god why did we do this. We spent some time reading through contracts and figuring out how long it would take us to get the money in order and at some point we got some dinner.
Later that night, when we were getting ready to sleep and our dorm mates were getting ready to party, I saw that the Zillow agent had posted about us on Instagram! They said that we “trashed” them and implied that there was no way we were going to get the house now and that I was lying about Greg being a family friend. I was shocked! So rude! So inappropriate! We had talked on the phone a few times and had known each other for less than 48 hours. The pettiness made me feel very sure that we had made the right decision to “trash” them and go with Greg instead.
Thursday, May 9, 2024
Neither of us have ever been to Barcelona, so we thought that a Rick Steves walking tour would be a perfect introduction. After some coffee in a way-too-cool cafe, we headed to the starting point of the tour in the center of the city. As expected, the tour gave us a great overview of the history and culture of Barcelona. It pointed out all the little architectural details we never would have seen on our own and put a layer of history over everything we were seeing.
Our dear friend Shelby has spent a lot of time in Barcelona and she gave us her favorites list, which was an incredible resource. We stopped by one of her recommendations for lunch and it was excellent. Fueled by sangria, we continued on our tour to the Barcelona Cathedral. It was spectacular, and we appreciated the cool, dark, quiet escape. We bought votives from a liturgical vending machine and lit them at the two shrines to Saint Joseph. Why Saint Joseph? He’s the patron saint of real estate and home! We had just decided to submit a higher offer with all contingencies removed, so we needed all the help we could get.
To hedge our bets a little bit, we also visited the Jewish Quarter of the city. There, we got to see a medieval temple that was built in the 6th century. In 1391, more than 300 Spanish Jews were killed in Barcelona and the synagogue was handed over to the king. Over the centuries it was built over and then rediscovered by an archeologist in the 1990s. It was a small but powerful place. Worn out and very oriented to the city, we had a lie-down and worry-sesh back at the hostel. There was nothing we could do at this point but hope our offer got accepted!
Mom and Dad had just arrived in Barcelona, so we met up with them for vermouth and tapas at a place from Shelby’s list. It was great, but way too full to seat us for dinner. It was getting late, so we stopped into a random place for dinner that turned out excellent. It was my first introduction to ‘gildas’, a generic term for yummy things on a toothpick. These ones were olives, sun dried tomatoes and anchovies, but we’d also have ones with cheese, pickled peppers and pieces of salami. Definitely something I’ll be bringing home!
Friday, May 10, 2024
We started the day getting ourselves out to Barceloneta, a new neighborhood for us. I had another hair appointment to tone down the blond, and Al very gamely waiting for me (he was interleaving espressos and vermouths). After some questionable translations and time petting the softest dog in the world, I left with very toned down head of hair. We walked in the sun all the way back to our accommodation, enjoying the vibrancy of the city.
In the evening, we went to another place off of Shelby’s list. We originally planned on just getting tapas, but the olives ended up whetting our appetites and we had an early dinner. Mom and Dad joined us a little later on, then we walked around a little more. We stumbled upon a big crowd, and with the help of Google translate, we learned that it was a Catalan independence rally! The state department specifically suggests against attending things like this, but they were making some good points!
The last event of the evening was a quick stop by the Gothic Festival, where they were doing a lesson for a folk dance. We didn’t catch the name of the dance, but it was a fun treat!
We were still on our toes regarding the house, just waiting for the seller to get back from their vacation and consider our offer.
Saturday, May 11, 2024
There were a couple of things that we didn’t realize before getting to Barcelona. 1. That La Sagrada Familia has timed-entry tickets. 2. Those tickets sell out in advance. Like weeks in advance. Live and learn! We booked tickets for La Sagrada Familia for another time when we’d be in Barcelona, but we still wanted to get our Gaudi fix! We spent the morning at the sublime Casa Vicens, in the Gracia neighborhood. We met Mom and Dad for pastries and coffee nearby, then walked over to the house.
Gaudi built and designed the Casa Vicens for the Vicens family in the 1880s. It’s a truly incredible work of design, with amazing interaction between the building and the outdoor environment. We gawked at the amazing artwork, tiling and design throughout the space. Definitely a lot of home inspiration!
We found a wonderful restaurant nearby for lunch, where we all got set meals. Everything was delicious, from the osso buco to the espresso. Full and pretty worn out, we went back to Mom and Dad’s apartment for a nap. When we originally planned our trip to Barcelona, we were going to be joined by Al’s sister Maia. Unfortunately, she wasn’t able to come and also unfortunately, we had booked a non-refundable accommodation. We were jealous of Mom and Dad’s great view, and slept better on their couch than we had at the hostel!
In the evening, we decided to go on the hunt for some paella, since we had been in the country for a little while and hadn’t had any yet. We found some, it was terrible! You win some, you lose some. It’s the nature of the thing.
On our walk back home, Al’s phone started to ring. It was Greg, and we knew that this could very well be the moment. He mercifully got right to the point — the seller had gone with another offer; we didn’t get the house. We didn’t know any of the details of the other offer, and agreed to sign on as backup, in case the first fell through. Now, months later, we know that the other offer was simply higher than ours. Higher than we could do. We don’t know who the buyer is, or why they were willing to pay so much for the property. We’re no longer heartbroken about the loss, although I think if the opportunity came up again, we would probably make all the same decisions. As I said just above, it’s the nature of the thing! It was an emotional rollercoaster, but we ended in the same place we started: on the trip of a lifetime with plenty of home to go back to.
We think and talk a lot about the meaning of home and rootedness. In a very real way, we feel at home in every place we go. The routines exist in the way that we pack our bags, settle in in airport lounges, plan for the future and in how we write this blog. We’re now at a point in our trip where we’re starting to think more about what going home will look like for us. We’re excited to be members of a local community again! Although a part of me wishes we had gotten the house, another part of me knows that the pull of such an exciting project would distract me from the current exciting project of seeing the world. Home will be there for us when we’re ready for it.
Sorry about the paella! But, man, everything else sounds sooo good.
Wow what a roller coaster!! Amazing one 🌞